The Daddy-Replacement Caper

From: Mia Cope

You may have noticed that a Note from Casa de Togo was not posted last week. Well. That’s because there was a lot of funny stuff going on here at the Casa.

First, Daddy packed a bag on Monday and drove off with a guy who looked a lot like him. Momma says that guy was his brother, Carl. I’ve met Carl, and I’m not so sure it was him. But I was out in the backyard on patrol at the time and peeking through the slats in the fence, I couldn’t really tell. For now, we’ll go ahead and use “Carl” to identify the mystery man.

Second, Daddy didn’t come home that night. I stuck close to Momma and she got a number of calls from him with the last one being the next morning. And then, right after lunch on Tuesday, Momma began getting calls from this Carl guy. Each one seemed to make her more happy. She mentioned the word “replacement” several times. And she called and texted people to tell them that Daddy’s replacement procedure had gone well.

I was becoming more concerned. I had been reading about these scams where fake people pretend they’re real people and then they take all your money and doggie treats. What if this was a fake Carl and if the sudden silence from Daddy was because someone had absconded with him in order to create a fake Daddy? A Daddy-replacement caper.

My detective senses were heightened. What intriguing twist would we see next?

Third, Daddy didn’t come home for a second night. I wondered, If the procedure was done, why wasn’t Daddy home? And why was Momma more relieved and happy?

Fourth, Momma received a call from “Daddy” about 11:00 a.m. on Wednesday. I remember the time because we were watching “Family Feud.” Momma seemed very, very happy. I wasn’t so sure. “Daddy,” she told me, “will be home by midafternoon.”

For hours, I wrestled with the possibilities. What if this wasn’t Daddy, but instead, the replacement Daddy? What would I do? Who would I notify? Oh, the humanity!!!

I watched from my southernmost outpost — the window in Momma and Daddy’s bedroom. About 3 p.m., Daddy’s truck pulled in the driveway. “Carl” was driving. He stepped out first. From my viewpoint at the window, I could see clearly that it was the real Carl. A wave of relief washed over me as I was able to dismiss at least a part of my conspiracy theory.

And then, Daddy — the real Daddy — opened the passenger door. Momma and Carl unfolded a strange contraption from the back seat. Daddy grabbed hold and the silvery machine led him slowly into the garage and house.

I was so excited for Daddy to come inside that I almost peed myself. Fortunately, I remembered that if I need to pee I have to go outside. Using one of my lesser known gifts of mind control, I suppressed the urge so I could debrief Daddy.

Daddy sat down on the edge of his bed. I settled in close beside him and said, “Now tell me what’s really going on.”

Daddy then revealed that he had gone to Dallas to have his hip replaced. That blew my mind. So I asked about the silvery thing. “Oh, that’s just to help me keep my balance when I walk,” he explained. “It will only be around a few days.”

The silvery thing was a spindly thing, as well. It made me feel better knowing that I could easily take the whole thing down if it began to pose a threat. And Daddy put a little headlight on it so I could see him coming toward me in the dark. He also equipped it with a grabber thingy that can pinch quite authentically. Found that out the hard way.

I wanted to know more about replacement procedures and he tried to explain. But if you know Daddy, you know how boring that can be. Fortunately, he was trying to explain using one of my chew toys as a visual aid. Nothing like a good chew toy.

The next day, when Daddy was getting ready for a nap, I went in and sat with him again. It was good to have the real Daddy home . . . even if he has a fake hip.