Togo Goes Fictional

Togo (Goes) Fictional

I have a transportation problem. My travel crate no longer fits in our vehicles. Momma had a sport utility vehicle that worked splendidly until a few months ago. But it’s been replaced with a sedan. And my travel crate is on the large side.

I have seen other dogs riding up front in cars. And some sit in the back like they are being chauffeured around. Momma and Daddy aren’t really keen on letting me ride in the front or back seats. You see, I’m what’s known as a Super High-Efficiency Defurring (SHED) animal. And when you’re a SHEDder, certain accommodations must be made unless everyone present wants to wear a coat of my fur all the time. 

Momma and Daddy still love me and have already made some accommodations. You should buy stock in any company that makes lint rollers. We go through a ton of those every month. And also broom factories. My back porch gets swept twice a day on average. And also Swiffer Sweeper manufacturing plants. The kitchen floor gets swiffed all the time. I truly appreciate the investment of time, energy, and resources on my behalf. The truth is, I have no real attachment for any fur I’ve discarded and I trust that its disposal is environmentally friendly. 

By the way, all of those efforts aren’t just for me. Momma and I have noticed that Daddy sheds progressively more each day. Momma has to keep an eye on both Daddy and me.

Dealing with the shedding in a car without a travel crate is a pretty perplexing challenge. It can be solved, I’m sure. After all, Daddy still gets to ride in the car. Sometimes, I think Momma likes the idea of a travel crate for Daddy — although a hairnet seems to be a good next step. 

But back to my problem. Not having wheels cuts down on my possible adventures because I can’t get to exotic places. For example, I have this story idea about “Togo Goes to See the Pope.” I’ve heard he’s a nice man and even has his own little city to live in. I’d like to discuss the possibility of a papal dog park with him. There are serendipities about visiting the Pope, too. For instance, both my undercoat (the primary source of my shedding) and Daddy’s hair are white. The Pope wears white robes so we could visit without causing any sort of international wardrobe tragedy. 

And then there are all of those other stories I’d like to write — police ride-along, Caribbean cruises, a presidential sniffing party in the Rose Garden, snowboarding in Aspen. The possibilities are endless — if I could just get there. (My predecessor, Zoe, made a trip to the White House once. She was big, too. But President Obama was willing to take care of the transportation problem.)

President Obama dropping Zoe off in Abilene,

Daddy suggested I use my imagination. I like that idea. I don’t really like to travel. And I’m good at imagining things. I lie in my swing many days and pretend I’m running through a meadow. I wake up feeling refreshed, yet I’m just a few feet away from my food and water bowls. Win-win. 

The downside of writing imaginary stories will be the absence of real-life action photos. So that’s where you’ll have to use your imagination. Maybe you could send me your pictures from your adventures and I could pretend I was there. Either way, there will be pretending involved.

I will still have stories about actual stuff that happens to me. But the imaginary ones — Daddy calls them “fiction” — will have a special title, like “Togo (Goes) to See the Pope.” See what I did there? I put “Goes” in parentheses because I didn’t really go. 

So, if you’re a regular reader, you’ll know when my story is fictional. That means it didn’t happen. But if I had transportation, it could have. And that’s what’s important. Please keep reading. And tell me where you would like to see Togo (go).