Togo Goes Haute Cuisine

I’m not a fancy eater. In fact, I’m very practical.

I eat dry dog food and drink lots of water. Momma buys my food. Daddy says that’s why I only get “senior” dog food now. Daddy also says not to be offended by that because Momma has had him on a senior diet for as long as he can remember. I don’t know if that means a long time or it’s because Daddy is also a senior and can’t remember anything for very long.

Anyway, I like my food and don’t get bored eating a lot of the same stuff day after day. But I do make up for that with various treats. In the morning, Daddy gives me half of a chicken jerky treat while he’s filling my food bowl. And Momma follows that up with a vitamin treat and half of a beef griller treat right before Daddy and I say our morning prayer. Then Daddy takes me on my walk and I get a number of little-bitty treats along the way, and either a Crunchy treat or a Charlee Bear treat from Momma when I get home. I know the exact spots along our various walk routes where I am supposed to get them. And I remind Daddy if he forgets. (See above comment about Daddy’s memory.)

At night, Daddy gives me another half of a chicken jerky treat and another vitamin treat. We have our evening prayer and then, one more “treat.”

Daddy tells me this is a highly sought-after bit of haute cuisine and tells me to savor it. Daddy seems to think that I care a lot about how things taste. He doesn’t know that I only have about 1,700 tastebuds compared to his 9,000. So taste isn’t really a big selling point. I looked up “haute cuisine” on the interweb and found that it has four qualities: richness, suavity, balance, and elegant presentation. Every night, Daddy tells me how special I am and how lucky I am to get this particular snack. Yet, I know it’s not rich, suave, balanced, or elegantly presented.

It’s a dental treat, for crying out loud.

It’s whole purpose is to help me clean my teeth. And I like it just for that reason. But Daddy wants to oooh and aaahhh over it like it’s special. He will even pretend that he’s sniffing it and try to get me to agree that it even smells great. Please! I have 300,000,000 smell receptors in my nose compared to his 6,000,000. I’m telling you, these things are not nearly as interesting as some of the smells along our walk.

But I want to make Daddy feel good. And Momma. She’s the one who has to search the various stores in town to find these things. The truth is that I like cleaning my teeth. I also like to clean my face after eating.

This is especially fun when the grass is fresh and green. Plus, I get to do yoga-like poses getting into the best position to wipe my face. (Daddy used to give me napkins. But I just shred them — like all paper goods.)

So, if you see Daddy somewhere and he is bragging about how fancy I eat, just let him talk. The truth is that there are a lot of dogs out there who aren’t as privileged as I am and who are hungry. I am thankful for what I have. And for all of you who look out for pets like me.