Togo Goes Hydrodynamic

Last week, we had the tiniest little bit of winter. Just a couple of days of ice and snow and cold temperatures. Really folks, single-digit temps and windchills just aren’t really significant weather events. At least not for someone like me. 

Daddy and I missed our walk for one of those days. When I miss a day of walking, I make an honest effort to rebel in some fashion. Being such a good boy, it often takes me several days to fully plan and implement a rebellion. And that’s what this story is really about.

(I’m a big fan of the cold. In last year’s Snowpocalypse, I utterly refused to come inside and was actually quite disappointed, bordering on offended, when Momma and Daddy refused to come outside and play. I have to tell you that those were some fun days and nights as I ran through the snow and snuggled into my dog igloo in my hay.)

All of the weather talk is really only for context. Just take it for granted that I like cold weather.

In preparation for the cold, Daddy takes special notice of outdoor water faucets. In the front yard, he covers them with styrofoamy devices named after some famous country singer who I have never heard of. He used to cover the faucet in the back with one of those contraptions until I ate it. Sort of like rice cakes without even that much flavor. I have to admit eating it was not a good choice. I should write a story about other bad eating choices. “Togo Goes . . .” 

Without one of these special devices for the backyard, Daddy got one of his old red t-shirts and wrapped it around the faucet to keep it from freezing and then covered it with a plastic bag. I didn’t notice at first because I was more preoccupied with playing in the snow.

But yesterday, as I was sunning myself in the now snowless yard, I saw that bit of plastic blowing in the wind. On investigation, I discovered the red t-shirt underneath. And my mind started working and I hatched the perfect payback caper.

I have unique cloth shredding skills. The reason that I now sleep on hay in my igloo is that all of the pads and towels that Momma used to give me ended up in shreds. Not really shreds. Daddy thinks that I would be a great American Red Cross volunteer making bandages from old materials. Piles and piles of almost identical strips of fabric. I admit, I am that good.

My thought was that I would surgically remove the collar from the t-shirt. This, I believed, would be a constant reminder to Daddy whenever he wore that shirt that my walks, regardless of the extremes of weather, could not be pushed aside.

So I went to work on the shirt. To add to the wonder of it all, my plan was to leave the shirt wrapped around the faucet and surreptitiously excise the collar. I wanted it to be a surprise to Daddy.

And my plan might have worked. Except that, in my exuberance, the pulling and twisting on the shirt resulted in the faucet turning and the water coming on. I was delighted at first. Water was going everywhere. Now, I don’t really like water outside of a bowl. And I really didn’t know how to shut the faucet off. So I just went back to my spot in the sun and watched the flower beds fill with water.

Shortly thereafter, Daddy came out and noticed that the side of the yard was flooded. He was able to shut down the waterworks rather quickly with a quick turn of the faucet. He was muttering about frozen pipes and such things. It was then I realized that he had completely missed my handiwork!

So after he pulled the now soggy t-shirt from the faucet and carried it back toward the house, I sprang into action and brought him the perfectly-separated cloth circle that had once been his collar. He looked back and forth between the shirt, the collar, and me. And I could tell from the expression on his face that he was amazed.

It was possibly my proudest moment from at least the last 48 hours. I say that modestly because I’ve had some pretty proud moments recently. However, you need to know that “hydrodynamics” will not be the pinnacle of my achievements. Just think, if I can turn on the water, what possibly can be next?!