Togo Goes on Retreat

Every once and a while, I feel the need to get away. Being a dog can be very stressful.

I am a working dog. But I do a different kind of work. I sit around and think a lot and I tell my Daddy what I’m thinking. And he writes it down and shares it with other people. Recently, those people have been quite clear that they want me to share these stories. They don’t always have to be completely true. So I’m having to think about that a lot. 

Daddy and Momma recently suggested that I go on retreat. A retreat is a place you go to get away so you can rest and think. It sounds pretty good until you realize that they really mean spending a few nights at the veterinarian’s office. 

Fortunately, I like Dr. L’s office and all of the nice people there. Occasionally, some of them act a little scared of me. I try to reassure them by standing on my hind legs and putting my front paws on their shoulders so I can lick their faces. That approach has had mixed success. Nonetheless, taking off a few days and chilling at Dr. L’s is a welcome break from my busy life.

We selected a weekend and so, late on a Friday afternoon, Momma walked me to Dr. L’s clinic. She’s driven me there in the car a few times. But that requires her to load my crate which is quite big. Or having Daddy ride in the very back of the SUV with me. Daddy likes me but I get a little anxious on car trips so he says he sometimes likes me less at such times. And no matter what, there’s a lot of clean-up involved. 

And that’s why, most of the time, Daddy or Momma walks me to the clinic. It’s just about a half-mile away and there are a lot of sniffing spots along the way.

When we arrived at the clinic, we were greeted by the friendly staff and by Skittles, the receptionist cat. Most of the time Skittles plays like she is ignoring me but I’ve seen the way she looks at me. She wouldn’t say it, but she likes me.

Things went pretty quickly once we were inside. A nice young woman started patting me while Momma took off my harness and clipped my leash to my collar. We used to leave my harness on but somehow I ended up biting the harness in two. I asserted that it was a product defect. Daddy said, if it weren’t for the bite marks and the multiple harnesses we’ve been through, that might be a plausible theory. I’m not entirely certain what “plausible” means. In fact, for the longest time, I thought he was saying “pawsible.” Since paws weren’t involved, I did have pawsible deniability.

Anyway, with my harness safely tucked away, Momma gave me a hug and a pat and told me goodbye. She also told me when she would be back to pick me up. Like I’ll remember that. You can tell Momma hasn’t gone on retreat very much. If she had, she would know that these fancy places have people who remember that for you and get you ready to go home. 

I’m always eager to get back to the back and see who else is on retreat. It’s a very inclusive retreat center so there are dogs and cats everywhere. I get this really big room where one side is screened in and I can look out and see everything that’s going on. It’s so big that I can stretch out and even do my daily yoga positions. I am particularly good at Downward Dog. Daddy tells me I am. He says “Good stretch, buddy.” Every. Single. Time.

I was so eager to get to the back that my feet go way faster than the feet of the person taking me. And Dr. L has slick floors so I do a lot of slipping and sliding as I go. I always forget, but we have to stop on the way. They have a ride there that I get to play on before we go back. They call it a scale. I call it the Slightly Frightening Metal Platform ride. The trick is to stand on it and not lose your balance while it shifts ever so slightly this way and that. And you can’t lean on anything. I’ve gotten pretty good at it. I even get a score. Last year, I got a 72. This year I got an 80. I thought that was a pretty commendable improvement. But later Daddy told me that after a certain age, doctors don’t like to see your score go up. It sounds like Daddy has had quite a bit of experience with that.

With my ride over, I stepped down and we went slipping and sliding back to the luxury suites. As I said, I get one of the big rooms. I have a giant bowl of water. They put my stuff on a shelf across from my room. It has my name on it. My bag is usually the biggest one on the shelf. It has my food and my snacks. It takes a lot of stuff to take care of me. Sometimes I try to take a peek inside some of the other dogs’ bags so I can let Momma know if we are missing any of the good stuff. 

Once inside my room, I took a quick inventory to see who else is here. Some of the little dogs have been barking ever since I arrived. I let them for a while. They seemed to have a lot of nervous energy. But when I was ready for it to be quiet, I just let out a big “Woof!” and that calmed them down. Or scared them. Either way. I was good. We were all able to rest. I immediately began thinking about new stories I could tell you. The trick is remembering them and getting Daddy to write them down.

The nice resort people came by to check on me often. They always tell me that I’m their favorite. I assume that’s true although I’m pretty wise in the ways of the world. You see, I know that Momma and Daddy are paying these people and sometimes I think that may influence them to some degree.

One of the neatest features of the retreat center is the outdoor refreshatorium. When it’s my turn, they let me out in this nice grassy area with a big fence. I get the place to myself. I’ve always been good at taking care of business and retreats are no different. But what’s really cool is that there is a high sniff potential. I like to sniff a lot. I usually do that on my daily walks. But I have to put in a lot of steps to reach my daily goal of sniffs. On retreat, they bring all the sniffs to me. These really are luxury accommodations. 

After a few days, Momma and Daddy came to get me. I was fully rested and ready to go. One of Dr. L’s lovely assistants clipped on my leash and grabbed my bag and off we marched. I really slipped and slid on the way out because at the end of the long hallway, Daddy was sitting and waiting for me with my harness in hand. I try to go around and give everyone a big slurpy lick before I leave. That helps them remember me and is part of why I’m their favorite. 

Daddy and I head for home while Momma did the necessary paperwork. And on the walk, I told Daddy about all of the great story ideas I came up with. And I sniffed a lot. Because all work and no sniffing would make me a dull boy. Retreats are really great. But nothing like going home. Next time, I’ll tell you the story of going home for the first time.