Togo Goes on Strike

I recently learned that writers in Hollywood have stopped writing until they get better conditions.

Daddy says that those writers are on strike. And since I have incredible empathy for my fellow creatives, I’ve decided to go on strike, too. Daddy wanted to know if I was standing in solidarity. Standing, lying down, sitting . . . I told him I didn’t think there was any need to bring my bowel condition into the discussion. I just want to do what I can to help.

Writing a story is really hard work. Did you know that an average person’s brain uses about 20% of their energy just to sit in their head and think? People tell me that I’m a pretty good thinker. And if that’s true, I figure that I’m probably burning at least 40% of my energy in my head.

But in addition to all of that brain drain, writers have a lot of other job-related problems. Like finger cramps from typing. And bad backs from sitting too much. And squinty eyes from staring at a screen all day.

I’ve also learned that many writers who work remotely can also catch Zoom Fatigue. I understand completely. I certainly get tired after I’ve had a bout of the Zoomies and race around the yard for a while.

Daddy says that Zoom Fatigue and being tired after the Zoomies isn’t the same thing. Poor Daddy. I will try to explain this to him after he has had a nap.

Since I’m on strike now, I thought that I should come up with a list of demands to take to the negotiation table. It took a while, but this is what I gave Daddy.

Just in case you can’t read my writing:

1. More vacation time.

2. Less work.

3. More doggie treats.

4. Dog-datory rest periods after zoomies. (Daddy says that “dog-datory” isn’t a word but I thought “mandatory” was unfairly species-specific. And probably sexist.)

5. Back rubs.

6. Belly rubs.

7. Ear rubs.

8. Any rubs not listed above.

Daddy asked if this was my complete list. I verified that it was. Daddy said I was being unrealistic since I get all those things anyway. He said, and I quote, “No way!”

He has a point but I think it’s bad negotiating to say that too soon. So I told Daddy that I was walking off the job.

And he told me that was fine — as long as I wrote this week’s story first. See, we’ve already had a breakthrough!