Togo Goes on Strike

I think that my newsfeed is occasionally censored.

I’m not saying that some kind of sinister plot is afoot. Just that I don’t always get all the latest updates all the time. Like that time last year when they invited all the dogs to come down to the city pool for a swim on the last day of the season. I never heard a word about it. Come to think about it, that should be coming up again soon, shouldn’t it? Funny I haven’t heard anything . . . again. And that’s just the sort of news blackout I’m talking about.

Did anyone else miss out on the Hollywood writers’ strike? Daddy conveniently left that story our of my daily news briefing. Thank goodness, Momma filled me in.

I understand that the writers and the studios have been trading proposals back and forth and they might be close to an agreement already. I wish I’d known sooner because I’m quite a negotiator. Just ask Daddy. I’m doing all sorts of things now that he vowed I would never be allowed to do.

But back to the strike. I’ve reviewed the writers’ grievances and I am in solidarity with them. That’s a significant statement given the fact that I’m not a member of their union and they won’t return my calls. But a good cause is a good cause.

Unidentified Dog

As a gesture of my support, I am not allowing any pictures of me where I am readily identifiable to be published with this story. I know there will be public outrage but a dog must do what a dog must do.

First of all, it’s only fair that the writers get paid more for streaking episodes. Daddy says it’s not “streaking” but “streaming.” Daddy has trouble with his hearing and It makes more sense for the writers to want more money if nudity is involved, so I’m pretty sure it’s streaking. Daddy kept correcting me, but I think that he’s a prude and that warps his ability to accept these modern times.

Unidentified Dog

Second, the writers want to know how many people watch the shows they write. Daddy says this is called data sharing and it helps the writers know how they’re doing. It seems to me that it would be much better if the writers held out for doggy treats. That’s how it works around here. Whenever I do well, I get a “Good boy!” and a treat. I’m don’t know what data are, but they don’t sound nearly as tasty as doggy treats.

Unidentified Dog

Finally, I’m not sure why the studios have been wanting to use artificial intelligence for writing scripts for movies and television. The dictionary says that artificial intelligence is the ability of a computer or other machine to perform those activities that are normally thought to require intelligence.

I’m pretty sure that politicians use artificial intelligence to write their speeches and comments. And I think normally we would expect that to require intelligence. But just by watching the evening news and listening to politicians, we all recognize that normal intelligence does not seem to be a requirement.

Partially Identified Dog

So listen up you studio chiefs and movie moguls: Ditch the computers and keep intelligence in programming. (And just in case politicians aren’t actually using artificial intelligence to write their speeches, don’t hire a politician to write any of your scripts.)

For the good of the viewing public, let’s get this strike settled soon!