Togo Goes Training (Part 1)

Daddy and I are exceptionally good at taking walks. And others notice. As a result, a number of dogs have written in asking for tips on training their humans for the best walks. So this post is for my furry friends. The rest of you — please avert your eyes.

The key to making your human a good walker is letting them think they are in control. Clearly, they’re not. Yet they will stubbornly cling to this delusion. I’ve read a lot of human psychology books on this topic and I’ve concluded that this is their flaw. It’s not necessarily a fatal flaw, but often dangerous. In regard to dog walking, it is almost always hilarious.

The first thing you need to do is to engrain some leash manners. And the big thing here is to get them to quit attaching the leash to your collar and move it to a harness. Nobody needs someone pulling on their neck all the time — and newbie dog walkers are the worst.

How can you make that happen, you ask? On your first walks, you need to PULL! It isn’t necessary to go from side to side. Just pull straight down the street or the sidewalk away from your human. This next detail is important. Pull just fast enough that your human has trouble talking and walking at the same time. This will not harm your human but it will make the walking experience very unpleasant for them.

Don’t worry, your human will not give up on walking. Remember, they like to think they are in control. So, drop a couple of hints. I always send Daddy to Larry at the local pet supply store. If you don’t have a guy, I can get you Larry’s number.

Any good dog walker knows about harnesses. And my Larry — or your Larry — will immediately take your human over to the harness aisle and help him pick out the best one for you.

Larry likes to sell harnesses and he also knows that humans like to be in control. Along with the harness, he will also give your human some advice. “Clip the leash to the loop on the FRONT of the harness — not the one on your dog’s back. When he starts to pull, just stop walking and the harness will turn him around to face you.”

Getting turned around isn’t all that bad. I always combined a pirouette with tail wagging. Daddy thinks it is cute and, even though he is out of breath from my pulling, he always says “Good boy, Togo!” and gives me a treat.

(Treat manipulation will be addressed more fully in a later segment of Togo Goes. Since this is the harness edition of my training tips, let’s cover a few more things.)

Your human will do their best to adjust your harness to fit you snugly. At that first fitting and when you slide into that harness, take a deep breath and hold it. Your human will think the harness is tight. Once he is satisfied, you can let your breath out and enjoy a loose fit. This is an old Harry Houdini trick. Houdini didn’t wear a dog harness but he was always getting tied up in something. And he didn’t even like going on walks.

And if your human continues trying to tighten the harness over time, don’t despair. At some point, they will tire of this activity. Also, the harness will wear and stretch.

Now I know that some of you are wondering about how comfortable the harness is when you’re not walking. That brings me to my last harness tip: Don’t let them leave the harness on after your walk.

If you’ve followed my tips to this point, the harness will be just a little loose. If it appears that your human doesn’t plan to remove your harness, simply slip your lower jaw under the strap. A couple of medium-sized chomps and that harness is a goner.

Harnesses cost a lot of money. You only have to chew through a couple before your human gets the idea.

In our next segment, we will be addressing some of the finer points of walking. As undisciplined as humans may seem at first, it won’t take you long to whip them into shape.

Enjoy your walks this week!