What Does a Girl Have to Do to Get a Day Off Around Here?

From Mia Cope

The last few months have been action-packed here at Casa de Togo. It’s the holiday season and we have our largest crowds in the last quarter of the year.

First, there’s Momma’s birthday. It’s on the same day as Halloween. Daddy told me that Momma likes Halloween a lot. But not because it’s Momma’s birthday. She likes to give away candy to little (and big) kids who come to the door. Daddy doesn’t like Halloween. But not because it’s Momma’s birthday.¹ ²

Second, we have Thanksgiving and lots of extra feet around our table. We also have a lot of great smelling food. Momma sneaks me a few bites. I did some interweb research and learned that the origin of Thanksgiving is somewhat disputed. I think the real reason for the holiday is an excuse for everyone to be together for the Westminster Dog Show. Even with my extra security duties that day, I was able to steal a few glances. Frankly, it’s a little low on action for me. I like the one where the dogs jump fences and waggle through poles and run across a seesaw and roar through a tunnel.

Third, we have Christmas. Enough said about that. My job was to make sure that none of Henry’s little cars or the tiny pieces that came with his excavator got lost. And that’s exactly what I told Daddy when he found a cache of such things in my bed.

We also had a couple of birthdays. And then New Year’s Day.

I’m tired. So I asked Daddy if I could have a day off. Daddy reminded me that he was a humble Grounds and Maintenance worker and that I was his boss. I felt a little foolish. But I thought that since he had been around for a long time, he would know the process for PTO. I also thought that he should feel foolish, as well. Momma confided that Daddy didn’t know that he could have time off and she didn’t want him to find out. At first, I didn’t think that was fair. And then I remembered a wise woman once said: “What Daddy doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” Enough said.

I did some more interweb research and learned that PTO policies are set by the Human Relations office. And since HR is my area, I searched everywhere for the policy book. I have to admit that I had no idea of where to look. I did dig around in the yard for a couple of hours. But I already knew it wasn’t there. It just seemed like good justification for digging.

I asked Momma what she would do. She told me that I could set my own policy. So, here it is.

The paid time off (PTO) policy for Casa de Togo is as follows:

1. Every employee works on holidays.

2. Employees are entitled to one sick day a year — except on holidays.

3. Only executive employees are entitled to PTO.

4. The only executive position at Casa de Togo is the General Manager and Chief Security Office.

5. Executives get unlimited PTO on showing of just cause.

So I’m taking today off just ‘cause.

I sent out a memo to that effect. Daddy was in my office within minutes. He was really excited. As Momma had indicated, he had never heard of such a thing as PTO.

“What are you going to do on your day off?” he asked.

I thought for a minute and then replied, “I’m going to take a walk and then play in the yard. I’ll eat some delicious food. And I’ll take a lot of naps.”

Daddy got quiet and began rolling his eyes up. You know, like people do when they’re trying to figure out something. “That sounds like what you do every day,” he said.

Leave it to Daddy to ruin my first real vacation day.

1. Daddy says that it’s because Momma won’t go out to celebrate her birthday because it’s Halloween. If Momma’s birthday was just one day earlier or later, Daddy would like it better.

2. Momma says Daddy doesn’t like Halloween because he doesn’t like scary stuff and that he uses her birthday as an excuse not to have to go to the door to greet ghosts and goblins.