Getting my MoMia On

From Mia Cope

This is that time of year when some people in our neighborhood put up lights. Daddy says it’s to celebrate Christmas or other December holidays. I don’t really see the connection but it is refreshing to see a new look around the block. The best time to look at lights is at night.

Most of the holiday displays are lovely. And pretty much in keeping with the whole Peace on Earth theme. I also like the whimsical ones with figures from classic Christmas stories. Like this one:

Here you have Santa Claus, an elf,¹ and Frostie, the Snowman. For several nights now, I have looked out our front door at this placid scene and smiled. What a joyous remembrance of all things good!

However, last night I watched after imbibing in some holiday eggnog. It suddenly was apparent that Frostie was not as friendly as I had once thought. After staring at him for quite a long time, I detected a shiftiness in his eyes. And who knows what sort of malevolent hand gesture was concealed by his mitten?!

Feeling the anger rise up within me, I closed my eyes and summoned up all of my inner psychic powers. When I felt that my dynamos were fully charged, I opened my eyes and released my full energy on Frostie.

I didn’t know I had it in me. And I don’t really even understand where that power came from. Nor did I witness the aftermath. For it was at that very moment that Daddy shut the front door.

The next morning on our walk, I was shocked to see the results.

After checking for survivors, I fully confessed to Daddy what I had done. As we walked quickly away from the scene, Daddy gasped in horror, “You must have some kind of Mojo!”

Daddy says that Mojo is like a magical power. But since Daddy can be a bit egocentric, I’m not positive that he didn’t come up with Mojo because his name is Joe and he would like to be magical, too. I prefer to think that whatever came over me last night was MoMia.

I presented my theory of the incident and he started giggling. Guffawing loudly, he kept saying “MoMia. How ridiculous!” I held my temper and reminded myself that this awesome power must be controlled.

But Daddy began laughing again. I don’t know know why. But as we were going through the gate, I zapped him with my MoMia. When I opened my eyes, this was all I saw.

I felt really bad and knew I had to reverse my MoMia to get Daddy back. So I sat quietly in the backyard and said a little prayer. Then I chanted out, “aiMoM! aiMoM! aiMoM!”

To my relief, Daddy came back. Turns out he had just gone back through the gate to get my deshedding tool. And somehow, I restored Santa, the elf, and Frostie to their full vim and vigor even without magical powers.²

The important thing is that I learned my lesson. No more magical powers. Just hugs and licks. Because the real power this time of year comes from love.

And big trees with decorations, for obvious reasons.

1. Probably not Elf as portrayed by Will Farrell. And a somewhat improbable pose given that this elf seems to be standing in the smokestack of the locomotive. Not only would that interfere with the generation of peak power from the engine, but would necessitate the wearing of asbestos pants. And since Santa jumped on the eco-train a long time ago and outlawed lead paint and asbestos in all North Pole products, the whole scenario is unsettling.

2. A big thanks to our neighbors, David and Jennifer, for this unauthorized use of their Christmas decorations. (No Christmas characters were harmed in the posting of this story.)