They Come in Threes

I certainly hope that your week has gone well. We have had a time here at Casa de Togo.

It could be just folklore, but people say that bad things come in threes. And we have had three bad things happen — mostly to Daddy, although I was possibly involved in one. But there’s only circumstantial evidence of that.

The first one was last Sunday. Momma and Daddy got home from church and decided to order sandwiches from a nearby deli. When Daddy left to pick them up, Momma let me in from the backyard and I was immediately assigned to sentry duty so I could tell Momma when Daddy was back.

Considering the straightforward mission he was on, I was a little concerned as time went by. When he finally came in the door with the sandwiches, I could tell there was a story coming.

It seems that when Daddy pulled up to the pick-up window and gave the server his name that she had a funny look on her face. She glanced through the orders that were on the shelf. Then slowly turned and said, “I’m afraid that your order isn’t ready. You see, there was an unfortunate bread incident back in the kitchen.”

Unfortunate bread incident. We’re not sure exactly what that means. Momma and Daddy kept a close watch on their sandwiches . . . bite by bite. Because we don’t know for certain that the incident was addressed.

But that was only the first of three unfortunate incidents to come our way. I was glad that this one didn’t involve me.

I had no liability for the second one either.

About a month ago, our friend, Sandy, who has cut Daddy’s hair for over twenty years retired. To make it even more traumatic, Sandy has also been cutting Momma’s hair for some time. We were all very sad, because Sandy was like a member of the family, except she didn’t live here or eat our food. We all love Sandy. And we would have been glad to have her live here and eat our food. But she didn’t. But she could have.

Back to the story: Since it had been a month since Sandy retired, Daddy’s hair had become somewhat of a mess. So on Monday, less than 24 hours after the unfortunate bread incident, Momma sent Daddy out to find a new haircutter. Since Daddy isn’t very complex in his problem-solving, he just drove to the nearest barber shop.

On arrival, Daddy was met at the door by a kind man who asked, “Do you have an appointment?” To which Daddy whispered, “I’m looking for a new barber.”

The man must have seen the tears welling up in Daddy’s eyes because he dropped the appointment inquiry and motioned for Daddy to sit down with about six other people. In Daddy’s estimation, none of them needed a haircut as badly as he did and Daddy was hoping that there would be some sort of triage procedure that would move him to the top of the list.

As it turns out, of the seven of them sitting there, five had appointments. And the other walk-in guy didn’t take in to consideration Daddy’s hair mess when the receptionist called out, “Who’s next?”

After a 45 minute wait, Daddy was finally seated in a barber chair that was built for someone much taller. And that made Daddy feel much shorter. With the luck-of-the-draw-haircutter towering over him, Daddy asked for a “light trim.”

Now, in what Daddy will come to describe in his text to Momma as the unfortunate hair incident, he learned that a 23-year-old barber doesn’t share the same understanding of the expression “light trim” with Sandy — and certainly not with Daddy.

Just minutes later, the hair artisan spun Daddy’s chair around and handed him a mirror. Visibly shaken, Daddy paid his bill and hurried for the door. For the next day or so, Daddy worked on all of the good things that could come from an unfortunate hair incident.¹

Daddy turned down all requests for photo opps. So I’m using artificial intelligence to show you what he looks like.

Except he doesn’t have any hair at all on top of his head or on his cheeks.²

I sort of had something to do with the last of the unfortunate incidents. Although, if you’re trying to pinpoint causation, you would have to put this one on Momma. She was, after all, the person who called the lawn sprinkler repair people.

In the course of their annual inspection and maintenance visit, they noticed that one of the sprinkler heads in the backyard had a lot of water around it. And sure enough, they discovered that the pipe leading to it was broken. As Daddy watched from the door in horror, they began to dig up the grass in the backyard. He looked exactly like he does when he sees me digging up the grass in the backyard. Thankfully, he didn’t come out hollering at the repair people like he does me.

After the repair was made, the sprinkler guys put all of the dirt and clumps of grass back in the hole. Thus it was that I decided to take all of the dirt and clumps of grass back out of the hole at my first opportunity.

Daddy promptly put said dirt and grass back in the hole. And covered it with a heavy fireplace grate.

At my second opportunity in what has become known as the unfortunate sprinkler hole incident, I endeavored to empty the hole again. I thought the presence of the grate would merely increase my degree-of-difficulty score. Instead, it made Daddy, who now resembles an aging Chihuahua, even more agitated. Thus, the addition of bricks at the ends of the grate.

The way Momma explained it to me, this grotesque memorial will stay in place until at least midsummer when the lawn is fully restored. It is indeed a reminder of how long-lasting some unfortunate incidents can be.

If you are having unfortunate incidents at your house, remember they come in threes. So just hunker down for a while. If they involve bread, you’ll probably hardly notice. If dirt and grass are escaping from a hole in the yard, it’s nothing that a little sunshine and rain can’t cure. But if it’s an unfortunate hair incident, people will never forget.

I’m trying to forget. So I had Daddy take this picture of me with the moon. It has no connection to the unfortunate incidents at Casa de Togo. And how could a little dirt and grass overshadow this scenic view?

1. (1) Daddy would no longer have to brush his hair. (2) It would be a long, long time before Daddy would ever need another haircut. (3) Daddy would probably not have to have his picture made with other family members over the Easter holiday. (4) Daddy looked a lot more like his dad, Papa Joe, who rarely sported hair over his entire life. (5) If Daddy could figure out how, he could cut his own hair from now on and save money. [Momma has shared her concern over recurring unfortunate hair incidents if that happens.]

2. Daddy also insists that he doesn’t have hair in and around his ears. But in real life, that too is an unfortunate hair incident.