Fur: What It's Worth
From Mia Cope
“What good is it?” I demanded.
I was referring to my fur and I wasn’t talking out loud. So the question just swirled around in my head much like the fur that was flying around my stylist, Ria, and me in the back room of the pet salon.
Did you know that Huskies like me have two coats — an undercoat and an overcoat? The buried one keeps us warm in the winter and cooler in the summer. And the overcoat repels water and blocks off the harmful rays of the sun. They work together to keep snow dogs like me at the right temperature no matter the climate.
You might also be surprised that Huskies shed only two times a year in late spring and late fall. Daddy says that is true, except the experts don’t tell you that each shedding lasts for a full six months. Then he laughs because that really is a joke. Sort of.
Our two-times-a-year shedding is when we “blow out” our undercoats as we prepare for a change in seasons. Depending on our circumstances and environments, that can happen quickly or be drawn out as long as a month. And that can be a lot of fur. Like in this picture. This one was taken right after Momma and Daddy rescued me from the animal shelter.
As I recall, daily grooming with Daddy’s new deshedding tool produced almost this same result for about a week. After that, my shedding became more manageable. Although, Tobot, Momma’s robot vacuum cleaner is dispatched to some areas of our house on a daily basis to combat the fall out.
This week, Daddy took me to my stylist, Ria, for a Furminator treatment to speed up my blowout experience. She uses a special shampoo with ingredients that help my shedding and pre-shedding fur to let go. Then they use a high volume pet dryer to dislodge the hangers-on. Fur goes everywhere. I wanted to get pictures, but Daddy has a weak stomach and was afraid that the swirling mass of hair would make him dizzy. And that it would cling to the sweater he was wearing.
I will say that it was quite a spectacular sight and not unpleasant at all except when the blowy-air got too close to my ears and face. But Ria is a precision dog dryer operator and those moments were very few.
When it was all over, Ria gave me a little time to say goodbye to my summer undercoat and all those millions of hairs. Their response was underwhelming.
I wasn’t offended. That’s the same facial expression my fur has all the time.
In answer to my original question, used dog fur has very little value in the open market place. However, if you’re a collector, I’d be willing to send you a handful for only $19.95. I was going to charge you an additional $5 for postage and handling. But Daddy thinks that a handful would easily fit if compressed into a #10 envelope and sent for a single stamp. So Daddy says that if you are dumb enough willing to send us $19.95, he would cover the cost of mailing. I will warn you that you should be very careful in opening the envelope since my fur has incredible escape instincts. And clinging power.1
And if you are a friend of Tom Brady, you may also be able to clone your own “Mia” from the DNA included in every shipment.2 Click here to learn more. Or you could use the same amount of money to rescue about 200 dogs from your local shelter. And, since I am a shelter rescue, I’m hoping that you’ll choose the latter.
Daddy says he will be surprised if anyone takes us up on this scheme collecting opportunity. So I just want to encourage all owners of double-coated dogs to consider treating your puppy to a Furminator treatment. It will make them feel like this:3
For $39.95, Daddy will also send you a sticky tape roller to remove fur from your clothing, your upholstery, and your carpeting. You will have to pay shipping and handling for this item. (Don’t tell Daddy I told you, but you can pick these up at a local store for a couple of bucks.) Also, in case the shipment of dog fur via the mail is illegal, Daddy disavows any knowledge of this scheme collecting opportunity.
Cloning is priced separately and not included in this scheme collecting opportunity.
FYI: The throat-clearing noises from this video were the agreed upon cue since Daddy refused to yell “Action!”
Imagine if all the dog-shed hair on Earth were piled up in one place.....
Believe it or not, Etsy artists do create with fur. You could provide enough fur to supply 6 artists!